Whether you’re in a new relationship, or you’ve gotten through the trials of the past year together, you might be thinking about your communication habits with your partner. Julia McCurley of Something More shared ides on how to “fight fair” with Studio 512. Here’s her top 10 list:
- Pick the right time.
- Don’t criticize.
- Don’t interrupt.
- Use the magic words “help me understand.”
- Talk about one topic at a time (don’t stockpile your complaints for one big blow-up).
- Try to find the real issue before you communicate: maybe it’s not the way he loads the dishwasher, maybe it’s because you feel like you do more chores than he does.
- Try not to generalize…avoid words like “always” and “never.”
- Compromise, compromise, compromise! You are not trying to win, you are trying to find mutually agreeable solution.
- Keep calm, don’t yell, if you can’t, take a time out for a few minutes. Cool down if you can.
- Last but not least: before you even decide to confront, ask yourself, “Is my behavior helping or hurting my relationship?” Some things aren’t worth fighting about!
Julia is Austin’s only Certified Matchmaker. She’s been in Austin for decades, and started her company in 2009. She takes the guesswork out of dating, and she puts a lot of time and research into matching people based on many factors, including attachment styles, love languages, temperament and more.
If you’re looking for some free advice, be sure to check out her published book of blogs, “Game Set Match.” If you’re ready to have a consultation with her about finding the love of your life, check out SomethingMore.com, or call (512) 810-8803.